To see the world, though you are not by my side anymore.

The journey is tough, but if it will leads me to you, I can even crawl.

30th July 2019 - Tasik Cermin, Ipoh 

It was an impromptu 1 day get-away with colleague. The scenery was great. The lake was calm aside from the rippling that cause by the wind occasionally. If you were here, we could just sit here and have some small talk, enjoying each other company in this peaceful place.

12-16 August 2019 - Macao / Hong Kong, China

This was a family trip. We went to visit our aunt and uncle which are permanent resident in Macao. We explored this city entirely on foot. This gave us a better chance to get to know this wonderful city. The street food and local tidbits such as the "cheese-egg-tart" or the peanut candy here is a must try as the taste is as authentic as ever. Of course, drinking is a must for me too because how can you resist when the price is so tempting compare to Malaysia. 

The casinos are all ridiculously massive and the interior are so well design and decorated you felt as if you were in Europe. You could have easily lost your way inside and you won't notice the time past as the whole building were always full with peoples day-in or day-out. I wondered if it's the same in Las Vegas?

We had the privilege to visit Hong Kong as a 1 day trip. We were quite worried at first as there were protest on-going and potentially violence happening in Hong Kong. We consider ourselves lucky as we didn't encounter any disturbance for the whole day although traces of the post-protest were visible in the places we visited. Nevertheless, I'm glad I had the chance to see this with my own eyes rather than only from the news as this was very eye-opening to me.

To me, Hong Kong hold a special place in my heart now as first of all, this city is so full with vitalizing energy. I can never forget how tall and huge the shopping mall is and how high the escalator stretch up. Secondly, it was here that I look at the breathtaking night scene by the sea and I realize I miss you. I finally realize how much you are to me and I have lost you. It reminded me the night we sat on the Kuching Riverfront and I miss you. So much.

We traveled from Macao to Hong Kong via shutter bus service and we went back to Macao at night with speedboat. I'd decided that travelling at night by sea was not my thing. It was very frightening for me as I had never encounter such a big waves in my whole life for 1 whole hour. I almost had nausea before I forced shut my eyes and tried to sleep through the whole journey back.

All in all, this was quite an insightful trip.

24 August 2019 - Taiping / Kuala Kangsar

This was the golden time that I'd missed in order to reconcile with you. Ever since I know that I love you and I need you back, I've think of as many ways as possible to try to approach you. Alas, fate is playing against me as the weeks was hectic and full of dark surprises. At last the school trip was coming on weekend and I thought about talking with you after this. Clearly, time waits for no man. I've lost you.

14-15 September 2019 - Changkat Kruing / Sitiawan / Marina Bay / Pulau Pangkor

When I realize I have lost you and there's no turning back anymore. I'm broken from the inside. I find myself longing the sea evermore. God heard my prayers and he granted me the wish. It was Pangkor Island Festival which was not held annually and I was so lucky God gave me the chance to fulfill my dreams.

By chance I got to visit Changkat Kruing as we were staying in one of my colleague's house. This place is quiet and peaceful. The local breakfast cuisine is very unique and tasty as I'd never taste such fried fish with noodles before. I will definitely eat again if I have the chance next time.

We went to Sitiawan too and we ate lots of delicious famous street food such as the foo-chiu kong-pia and cendol. We visited the well-known Tua Pek Kong Temple by the sea. The sky and sea by the mangrove swamp were grey and depressing. It corresponded with my feeling so well I can feel myself dissolving into the grey sea and beyond. 

Marina Bay was as romantic as I thought. But now it seems ironic to me as I'd long dream to come here with you. Here I am again, yet you are not with me anymore. Pangkor Island was as breathtaking as ever. The sea and sky were in everlasting bright blue. The sun was hot and warm on my skin. Here, I can try to forget my pain.

God send angels to me. And I can never thank them enough for being there for me.

1-2 November 2019 - Penang

God is very generous to me. You came to visit me in Deepavali Holiday and you had no idea how broken again I am. I'm dying in a slow and torturing death. God spare me again by giving me the chance to travel with angels. Somehow this was the place I first visited after we started dating each other about 5 years ago. And now after all this, here I am again. 

I'd written a full account of this trip in my phone, hoping that in one day I'd get to show it to you. 

I rode on dinosaur, I look at the dinosaur's butt hole, I look at the pretty fishes in tanks, I saw cute lizard sleeping, I saw Nemo resting in a pink bowl-shape coral, I saw a weird-face Ironman, I sat on the luckiest chair, I saw the view of Penang from high above, I walk on the glass bridge and so scared to look down, I look at the night scene of Penang, I got to redeem a cup of free boba tea, I slept in an apartment facing the sea, I did all this while having you in my mind, as always.

The next day, I had cake and dinner in Chinahouse. I think you will like it here too because the setting in this restaurant is superb. I end my trip with a short visit to the sea side. 

God knows how much I miss you.

8 November 2019 - Cameron Highland

Apart from longing at the sea, I find myself craving the chance to go uphill and enjoy the cool breeze in my face. Once again God surprised me with his generosity to me by granting me a golden chance to travel to Cameron Highland with a school trip. Excuse my squinty eyes as I didn't have enough sleep and the sun was simply too bright.

The trip was fun and relaxing. I get to enjoy a piece of lavender cheesecake in a cafe overlooking the green hill and blue sky. The cake was delicious but I thought that the portion was more suitable for two because I feel a bit lonely eating alone even though I enjoy the solitude. 

We visited gardens and the flowers there really brighten my day. It was too beautiful to be real. I wish I could get to see this with you. Everywhere you look, the landscape here can be make into a desktop background. I bought some strawberries and it's so pretty and sweet.

I saw a piano and I thought of you. You know how I've always love to see you play.

16-17 November 2019 - Hatyai, Thailand

The almighty God makes my dream came true again by fulfilling my wish to visit the border state in Thailand. There're tons of places I'd never been to and I wish I can travel each and every places with you. You have no idea how sad I am when I'm doing this without you by my side.

Every temple we get to visit, I prayed hard for you. At night, I walked on the bustling street and under those dazing neon lights, I thought of you and I miss you. The moon was full and bright, my heart was sorrow yet accepting. Again, I drank and drank. The beer was sweet and cooling. I miss you. I'm pathetic.

Ever since you were gone, food cease to appeal me anymore. Still, I ate to survive.

Along the way I'd saw a few temples and once I got my chance I went to pray. I went on foot and I reached the two temples I'd seen. The third one I went was merely own it to fate. God brought me to see him.

There're things that are so out of my hand now. All I can do is left it to God and trust in his judgement. 

23 November 2019 - Pulau Ketam / Tanjung Sepat

God brought me to the sea again. Frankly speaking, the sea view was not that magnificent compare to Pangkor Island. It was grey and muddy with a tint of blue from the sky.

I meant to capture the iconic statue behind me, but the sun shone so bright that I can barely open my eyes to see and thus this picture went like this.

There were lots of temple inside Pulau Ketam. Sadly I didn't get to visit much, but those that I did I prayed hard to them.

When we came out from Pulau Ketam and on our way to Tanjung Sepat, the sky started raining cats and dogs. After the brief visit in a coffee bean factory, I caught on cold from the rain as I walked to a bun making shop. 

The weather wasn't good when we reached Tanjung Sepat. The sky were starting to turn dark for the late hour and the drizzle that followed us dampened our spirit. I enjoyed it as best as I can while feeling a bit depress. There was a wishing tree and of course I didn't let the chance to slip away.

8-10 December 2019 - Kajang / Kuala Lumpur 

Christmas is coming and the decoration in KL shopping mall is well known for it's spectacularly lavish design. I've been wishing to see that with you ever since we were together. I know it's near impossible to do that with you now but I still can't help wishing for it. God shows his mercy on me again and he granted me the chance to feel the Christmas joy in KL with family.

We went and stayed in Kajang. The apartment that we stayed has an infinity pool. I enjoy the view so much but the howling wind made me shivered hard. We went to the hilltop restaurant and had our dinner overlooking the night view of KL. This was not the first time I came here yet no matter how much every time I wish you were here with me, it just didn't happen.

I went to Pavillion and along the way I saw our previous footsteps everywhere. It hurts me so much and I miss you. I saw the Ironman and I remember that you like to watch Avengers too. And inside the Pavillion, it was so pretty, the garland and trees were full with twinkling lights as if a million angels were hiding inside and they sparks. I wish you were here.

I went to Ang Mo Street too. Everywhere I went and everything I saw I wished you were here to see with me. I miss you so much. Travelling without you hurts me.

It's almost the end of another year now. Ever since we were together, I've long wish to count down to the next year with you by my side under the fireworks. I know it's me that has forfeited my chance. I'm drown in my own regrets. I miss you and I love you.